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Monday, December 31, 2012

Django Unchained and Other Black Bastards: A Review



I will attack my review of this movie in a similar fashion to most of Tarantino's works:  Oddly paced, disjointed, and with a light sprinkling of feet - but ultimately satisfying.

To start, I love the way the tried to sneak this movie out at the end of the year when its cold across most of the country.  As film executives all over Hollywood said over a morning line of Columbian marching powder, "If you release this during the middle of the summer in Compton, you can cancel Christmas."  So, we tag Django on to the last movie weekend of the year, and the combination of holiday cheer, below freezing temps and 2 months of turkey will stamp out any possibility of race violence upon release.

I see what you snorted there.

Django Unchained is a pretty good flick.  This is coming from someone who still hasn't forgiven the Best Director in Hollywood Who Can't Act for his "Dead Nigger Storage" droolings in Pulp Fiction.  To this day I have not seen the scene with Ving Rhames and the Gimp as I was luckily in need of the bathroom when I saw it in the theater. Once I found out what happened while I was gone, I've had a candle in the window of my little mental room of middle fingers to Tarantino since that day.  I thought the rest of that movie was brilliant, by the way.  The little focker Quentin does make hellishly entertaining films that are like Fuddruckers to a fat man and Django does not disappoint.

So basically, Django, played by Jamie Foxx, is a soon to be freed slave (think Obama's 'Path to Citizenship' plan, only not quite) in the 1850s who partners with the German born bounty hunter Dr. King Shultz (Christoph Waltz), haha Dr. King I get it now, to ride the earth on horseback and get into adventures all in the ultimate pursuit of Django's wifey and hot mamacita in distress, Broomhilda, played by the very edible Kerry Washington.  #Heygal.  Along the way they collect a few heads of the low hanging scum and villainous white criminals along the western trail and make a mint in the process.  Things become a bit tricky in finding a viable way to rescue Broomhilda from the ultimate Pimps Up Hoes Down lifestyle in the form of Sadistic Plantation owner Candie (Leo DeCaprio) and the oh-so-sinister piece of shit house nigger Steven (Samuel L. Jackson).  I must say that Jackson's turn as Steven was his most sinister and well played non-Jules Role.

After some lengthy exposition, mental chess games by both sides, and frequent splashes of racial cruelty, we get to the best part:  The new Tupac song!  Out of nowhere the Tupac hologram drops a new hit right in the middle of a pre civil war gunfight and I was blown away, half out of the wave of euphoria of the climactic scene, and half from an overwhelming sense of GTFOH, Tupac in a spaghetti western LOL.

Hopefully this whets your appetite enough to check the flick out.  It's a great revenge tale.  The nitro-pure subject matter set in a graphic novel world will definitely give you a feeling rarely experienced leaving a mainstream american movie.  Not since Soul Vengeance (heh) has the big screen seen the likes of Django.

The D is silent, Hillbilly.                               

1 comment:

  1. Nice review. It's a bold, bloody masterpiece from Mr. Tarantino. It's sad because I read an article recently that Mr. Tarantino is thinking about retiring from filmmaking in the future. While I respect his decision, it will be a sad day indeed.

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